The Tide

It isn't you, she said It's me And set her fabrication free. Revealed that covert expertise In jubilant solemnity In the art of feigned, half-flattery. And yet I look on powerless still dumbstruck by her vanity Awestruck by her deftly dealt delivery Unstuck witness to the source of the sincerest insincerity. Without the cause to be discreet Or doubt, or pause for gritted teeth But still of course with all those things that set the stricken surface glistening, things that leave my stomach twisting now that I'm no longer listening through the blissful mist of misshearing the whisperings of her enmity beneath. Yet the unmistakeable self-loathing hides behind the bloated boasting. Dancing dizzy then dragged under by the tide that's still eroding, gnawing silent at the sides. Once lustrous, impregnable armour now lies turned to salt and oxide, and the flesh beneath the tarnished gilt so bruised I barely recognise her rusted, warped reflection. The mirror in who's crippled waters every smile avoids detection. The tattered face in whom i once had worshipped perfect imperfection. It isn't true, you said and smiled A smile turned sour by travelled miles You looked me in the eyes and lied And told me how you'd tried. How long you'd sought what used to be inside All dealt like I was deaf and blind, oblivious to every sign. Perhaps you thought I was content, that you were just so damn brilliant that I'd ignore each disrespect, each ever-worsening event as long as I could call you mine? And just forgive each new pretence, let you sacrifice my confidence upon your altar, slowly built, but tinged with haste, Sun baked masonry in time replaced by gilded misandry and wine. So now I'll watch life aping art Look on as you replace our past. Each truce that ever falls apart Each hopeful glance, each rocky start Each Bruce that ever breaks your heart I'll smile a smile that lights the dark No longer just another mark And live and love and talk and work And spread my roots deep in the earth Bathe in its loyal warmth at last Hold high a head that knows it's worth And line up for the start