The Theological Insights of Archie Bunker

Last Saturday night I dropped by for a few beers at Kelsey's Bar. Archie Bunker was there, drinkin' beer and chompin' on a nickel seegar, Expoundin' on religion and his pinko, atheist son-in-law, Meathead! If you dared to contradict him, he'd tell you right off to drop dead! "Edith gits her guidance from The Reverend Fletcher but the Bible is my guide! Now you take Adam and Eve. She took a bite of apple and to God she lied! So woman brung about the downfall of man and God got purty sore I hear, And saith, "Clothe thyselfs in fig leaves and git the 'ell outta here!" "Meathead said Christ was Jewish - musta been on His mother's side! But what does that atheist know about such things - God he don't abide! He don't believe Christ is the Son of God but the Bible says it's so! To prove that, ever'body gits Christmas off to jubilate as we know!" "God can do anything, buddy! He can turn your jawbone into an ass! Don't listen to nothin' Meathead says about religion - he's so full of gas! I say God created the world in seven days - Edith said it was six days, 'Cause He rested on the seventh - maybe so - He works in mysterious ways!" "God don't make no mistakes - that's how He got to be ruler of the universe! So don't go blamin' Him for your troubles - without Him things could be worse!" My head was spinning when I left Kelsey's Bar and it wasn't because of the beer! 'Twas Archie Bunker's curious doctrinal insights that brought it on, I fear! Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired © All Rights Reserved