The Sweetest Compliment- My Blog On Fb Musings

The day before I posted a picture on my Facebook page that I thought would bring criticism my way. It was the picture fuller sized woman, sitting on a wicker chair. The controversial bit? She was stark naked. The beautiful bit? She was gorgeous….rolls and curves and everything! She was sitting sideways with one of her legs over the arm of the chair. Her long auburn hair cascaded down to cover those bits of her that needed covering. All you could see were curves and rolls. The article that went with it was about acceptance of fuller bodied women. It was a humorous write which compared whales to mermaids in response to a sign posted on the door of a gym, “Would you rather be a mermaid or a whale?” Anyway, it resonated with me because I used to be called a dolphin. I’m VERY free and graceful in the water. I LOVE to swim. Now….I resemble another aquatic mammal which, though large,….is still graceful and beautiful. You GUESSED IT…the WHALE! ;) Anyway…the article was AMAZING. I loved it and I posted it, knowing as I did so that the conservative Christians in my church group would find it…..disconcerting, to say the least. The next day, I posted a picture of myself, which happens to be my current avatar. I love snapping pics and this pic was one that I particularly liked. My hair is flaring out all around my face. You can’t see it here. The caption? BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IT. A little while later I got a message in my inbox by a really good Brazilian friend of mine who was part of the staff at the university where I teach. His comment? “The latest pic you posted: hot!! but I could not post this comment there, hehehehehe so im messaging it.” I messaged back that I thought so too, and it really helped that the woman had such a pretty face. In my mind I was going to tease him and say, “Oh, you mean the pic of me?” but I never got the chance because this was his next message: “btw i was talking about your pic!!! hehehe but that other one is pretty hot too!!!!” I was beside myself. How can I explain the joy that it gave me to read that? Now you all must be thinking one of two things: 1) shame on her for sharing his personal message (HE KNOWS. I TOLD HIM I WOULD) 2) what does that have to do with us? I’m having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that I’m aging…with the fact that I’m not the woman I used to be…with the fact that the world sees only skinny as beautiful. A compliment like that gave such a boost to a woman who is struggling with body image issues. You never know what words can do for someone’s self-esteem….especially words for a dear friend. Marcelo has been and continues to be a very dear friend. He made my day yesterday. I’m here to say….don’t hold back on words of affirmation. Of course, think of the context…and appropriateness. I’m still flying high on his words. I will for a while…it will give me the impetus I need to be that woman I was….that I still am on the inside! Eileen Manassian Ghali