The Sorting

My chest feels so heavy Or is it my heart The tears sit on eyelids I hope they don’t start The music plays classic The mood is so slow The songs are so saddened They touch on my sorrow I’m missing you badly I need you to hold If just for a moment So touching my soul I feel like escaping I need to get away I think when I get home That I will not stay. I’m in Sydney right now With family all around And though they are so good I need to be alone. Where can I escape to? So that I can think Somewhere near water So I can still swim. I’m fighting these feelings Of falling apart The trouble is I don’t know where to start. My mind’s in a turmoil Of questions and doubts The feelings I’ve out there All tangled and dark Don’t know where I’m headed With these thoughts going on Do I give what I can? With no fear and no shame Do I hide it all here? Till I know how you feel Do I toss it away? Just in case I’m a fool Do I tell you how I feel? And risk the reject Take courage more strongly And show you I care Oh God please help me I’m so muddled up So much of me wants love So much of me does not I wish I could work out Just what I do want Then I might find peace In my scattered up mind