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The Snail

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Below is the poem entitled The Snail which was written by poet Joyce Johnson. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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The Snail

The snail is one of God’s creatures.
In his home in the forest land
He keeps the ground cleared with his crunching.
That’s  a good thing and I understand.

But why does he come to my garden
To chew on my favorite plants?
The snail can be worse than a beetle or bug
Or even meandering ants.

Now surely I’m smarter than he is,
That small mound of jelly and slop.
But I use all my wiles and my will and my ways,
And still can’t get him to stop.

When he chews on my iris or primrose
That I have so carefully reared,
I attack with an armload of weapons. 
Now I am the one to be feared.

His persistence drives me to murder.
I cut him in two with a hoe.
I drown him with beer,  pour salt on his rear.
Before a new half he can grow.

He multiplies faster than bunnies.,
And all I can do now is cry.
This snail so tenacious, ferocious, rapacious
Is much more resourceful than I..

The rule is to eat or be eaten
Perhaps he would bow in defeat
If I had a taste for escargot.
It is then my revenge would be sweet.


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  1. Date: 11/5/2012 3:02:00 PM
    JOyce,. this has got to be one of your funniest poems ever. It just got better and better after the middle part for humor!!! love it.

  1. Date: 11/4/2012 1:34:00 PM
    Lol, you have a war on your hand, Joyce. It's a beautiful creature. He needs food lol. Just kidding. Maybe you should relocate him :) Just a thought. Love your write. Love ya, Toquyen

  1. Date: 11/4/2012 1:21:00 PM
    lol, got a chuckle here, Joyce - if only I liked escargot (I'd eat well with all the snails in our garden)

  1. Date: 11/4/2012 12:24:00 PM
    Cute one got a chuckle..Yes, all those methods work some but they keep coming back especially when there is a wet season..I had to put a layer of salt around the place that I feed and water the cat to stop them from getting on the cat food and her water..Enjoyed reading this afternoon..Sara

  1. Date: 11/4/2012 10:06:00 AM
    Yes snails can be such a menace!Enjoyed the fun Joyce.

  1. Date: 11/4/2012 10:04:00 AM
    I love this humorous piece, Joyce! Your choice of words shows your frustration very well. Fantastic write! Love, Kim

  1. Date: 11/4/2012 9:06:00 AM
    I love this funny poem. i do hope it will cheer Vie. You have such a great outlook on life.