The Pastor's Daughter Nelly

I’ll tell you all a story Tis one close to my heart Has love, Has life, It has a cow A haystack torn apart The man in question? Well that be me. The setting? Cheltenham Town So gather all, come, sit around My tale I shall tell Refrain: Oh the pastor’s daughter Nelly Now she was a lovely lass Oh quick and witty as the lark But stubborn as an ass Her buxom form drove men insane She let none of them know her name And well she played them at their game Did that there lovely lass Now in that town there was a girl Just where I used to work Her Pa a Christian minister Her Ma a moll did lurk The cow they kept from nine till five Was only just for show Oh what a family they did keep And now you all shall know Refrain Well home came John the night before A tad the worse for wear He’d been with Nelly’s ma he said She’d legs just like a bear We shivered and drew him up a pint His story for to tell when up he sprang and spilt the glass A Wager! he did yell Refrain Three and fifty pounds he cried For the bra of lovely Nell Brought to me by sunrise boys Or the wager’s gone to hell Toward the door we all were bid Each man was mustard keen John he rubbed his hands he did His plan was yet unseen Refrain I quickly made for Craddock farm Where I knew young Nell did sleep So soon I came upon the barn And so began to creep The darkness swarmed around me I couldn’t see ‘out all Save a white and lacy garment Residing by the stall Refrain I moved to towards the brassieres And felt the clasp behind When skin touched skin Dizzying, I thought I lost my mind Then suddenly the loudest moo Ye’ll ever likely hear did echo round the stable and deafened my left ear Refrain Out sprang Nell from the haystack And slapped me well and good The brassiered cow was most perturbed And bolted for the wood I stood in shock aghast to know what a fool that I must look When in walked Nelly’s father With aloft his holy book Refrain So now I wander banished From the town I called my own The clergy all now hate me Though I am not well known You’ll see me in the towns and pubs With a wench or drink in hand And so I’ll end my tale right now Go forth,strike up the band