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The Pain They Caused

Every day she's getting cut down, getting called fat, ugly, and stupid. she goes home and wonders what she did to deserve this, why she deserves to be put in this pain. her mom doesn't listen and her dad beats her, all she wants is to be loved but deep down she knows that will never happen, so she goes to the kitchen and finds a knife. she puts it to her skin, red starts to cover everything, as she takes her last breath, she say's she is sorry for not being what you wanted her to be. -ashley-

Copyright © | Year Posted 2011




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Date: 1/24/2011 6:37:00 PM
if people could just stop and put there selves in those girls shoes, sad but there's always throughout every generation gonna be bullies neglective parents, wish there was a complete stop to it all,...p.d.
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Date: 1/15/2011 9:19:00 AM
Thanks for commenting on mine. Yours is also very good. If this is a fictional poem, ..keep your chin up. :]
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Date: 1/9/2011 7:54:00 PM
Ashley, I hope this is a fictional account. I suggest you make the following changes so your poem will appear more presentable: Change "dererve" and "dererves" to "deserve" and "deserves" respectively. In the fifth line, replace "don't" with "doesn't". Finally, in the tenth line "breathe" should be replaced by "breath".
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Date: 1/9/2011 6:37:00 PM
wow, sad write, some just don't realize the pain they do cause, bullying is also what it's called shamefull but i know it might happen in this world, deep
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