The Night the Moon Refused To Shine

on this stage as i face the struggle within setting the past aside i've grown used to my indecent hostilities transfixed by the sadness of poverty i tire of the disappearance of life doing things no one appreciates i try to ignore the irrational shall i go on- keeping up the payments of life? all the crazy torment, of taking chances i utter the words while the past twists and turns as I keep talking it over with me...with God covered in despair i feel like a discoverer... on a ship with no life raft moved to the side of the river i've fought through the inevitableness of agony accused of an increase of emptiness i've sacrificed romance forever with the time ticking away time has no explanation it's all- or nothing along the path with life's mortgage past due haunting memories -rehashing the disorder of belief i assessed my expectations i'm just too tired to play the games anymore i accuse destiny of my dying inside i inherit threats of leaving coloring the days and nights for the time being in this land of dreams, an unbearable obsession devours me... i was so torn by the exit of you somehow i've grown accustomed of losing everybody in this life should i let my despair show... beholding an obscure face with tears refusing to cry their wetness breaking apart feeling nothing as the moon lights the frozen lake? sizing up all this misery i don't know how i got here hardly moving through the being of this world are the fish still biting... in the loneliness of this unsavory landscape? across the street i laugh at the untutored shouts of night's uncertainty... it's all so altogether painful i expose everything tricked by the bitterness of change in the unproductive rain i'm drifting through things of the past complete with prophetic discontent i tell you... the nonchalance of it all is disgusting the difficulty of pretending about my place in this world setting everything in motion as the night passes i face stale foolishness love is just so much unplanned profanity... the misbegotten affairs- the liars, the cheaters what uncolorful experiences i move through life's hurt as a grenadiers song is playing and all those sterile people I choose to leave alone now, at this time in the night... the night the moon refused to shine i'm in seclusion dropping out in the yellow of the cold december moonlite wanting to leave behind the hurt -the damage lost in grief one last time with no feelings left to share __________________________________________ by anne p murray