The Mystifying Secret

Here I am Laying in a room With a secret dear to my heart But if I tell it, it will shatter everyone's world apart I think, when I walk through the gates My heart will be beating at a very uncomfortable pace Because I am afraid Afraid of God turning me away The fear that I feel, Lives so deep within For this secret sealed Is so filled with sin Really, I'm scared Because this burden is too heavy to be beared There's no reason behind my sinful behavior But it's too late to turn back, so I'll leave it up to my gentle Savior Lord behold And only God knows I loved my life More than any of my actions showed I was ruthless and cold hearted toward myself But everything is so unexplainable to everybody else "Help her, help her!" I heard someone said But little did they know that I wanted to be dead Finally, I realize that I'm dying I turn my head and there I'm leaving my mom crying I use to think that she didn't care Until this moment when I heard her cry of despair I struggle to hold on to life At least to answer my mom's whys I don't want to leave her to wonder Then I realized that my life was over when there was a dark cloud and a roll of thunder In the back of my mind, I was sad to go The only pain I caused was not letting anyone know The secret that I held behind Is that I finally committed suicide For the past years of my life People wanted to get inside of my mind You got inside... Inside a mind that just committed suicide.