The Mustache of Robert Goulet

Just the other day I met Robert Goulet I was surprised a bit The way his mustache twitched A mind of its own Like in the Twilight Zone Jumping right off his face His mustache ran away Teeny boppers next door Giggled out of control As Roberts mustached jumped Landing in someones lunch That's when the Maítre d Let out a girly scream Quite an embarrassment To all us burly men Then throughout the day The mustache of Robert Goulett Made a name for itself As it ventured about town His mustache all could see Has a tinder streak Helping old ladies out To get across the street Why it even saved a cat Giving all its nine lives back Pulled it from a tree That was burning excessively At that same moment saved the town Itself from burning down But that story's much to long To try to abound The town was so impressed They trimmed up the mustache Of Robert Goulett Then gave it a ticker tape parade After that they named a street Because of its heroic feat If it had two hands to greet Would have handed it the city's key And if the mustache could talk at all Would have given the greatest speech If Roberts mustache had only known It'd do this good out on its own It would have left the upper lip A long time ago