The Meaning of Nothing

Desperate times like this call for a distraction. Feeling wanted and craving some attention. There's always a price to pay without an education, in the art of seclusion.   Laying on the couch as he gazed upon me. Taking in the sight, to his delight  he found me charming. He told me, "I'm a fighter. I'm a queen." That he found me particularly fascinating. "We're not so different you and me, Which makes you superior when compared to anything." I was stuck between the sheets. Plunging forward. Falling further. Wondering why his smile made me feel so sickening. I'd be crying as he took me in his arms.  Made me believe he truly meant no harm. He held me tightly and he muttered,  "If you get any older maybe we could move past heavy petting.  You can't gain experience without experimenting. " He told me, "I was pretty And around pretty things don't mind if I get a little touchy feely.  Younger girls fall so very easy. Just don't gain any unwanted feelings,  without them I can still make you feel amazing." Once again I was stuck between the sheets. Plunging forward. Falling further. Unknowingly risking everything. I felt like nothing when compared to anything. He'd pull me closer as I started shaking. Assured me that'd he'd never hurt me and there was no need to be afraid. He made me feel uncomfortable rather than amazing.  Turns out his words meant nothing. Still sitting frightened in his lap.  My need for comfort had enticed him so much one day when he just snapped.  And me feeling guilty for doing so, I Innocently asked, Craving comfort and security, how was I supposed to know? I'm sorry, that really wasn't my intention.   He started smirking as he said,  "You really like attention. Your teasing doesn't pay the bill. One day you won't be able to shut me out. And those doors won't stop me from getting in. Is that so difficult to comprehend?", he threatened. I was a token of your humor. I was your stupid little fool.  I was nothing but your prisoner. I meant absolutely nothing at all to you. I was stuck within your sheets.  Unable to move forward. There was nowhere else to fall. As I was screaming silently, you made me realize  the meaning of nothing meant me. If I had known all along, that I was backed against the wall, I would have never wrote this poem. And I would have fought harder than just screaming, that this feels wrong I think we should stop.