The Lotus Eaters

Those over 50's holidays that they advertise on TV must really do people a power of good, at least that's how it seems to me. Their smiles are all truly dazzling, soft-focus smooth is their skin, their trim, sun tanned bodies really do suit the wonderful clothes they're filmed in. They sit eating salads, al fresco, a glass of white wine at their lips, and nobody suffers lumbago or limps from their arthritic hips. Disembarking from liners for shore leave, or boarding an exotic train, there's never a sign of an arthritic spine or a bad case of varicose veins. I've not met these people in Derby, so maybe they all live abroad, all sunning their bits over in San Moritz which is something I cannot afford. So when I at last claim my pension, and have lots of more time to kill, it won't be a sun deck in Paphos, but more like a caravan in Rhyll.