The Lost Summer

From June to September I cannot remember A damn thing that I did What took me over Was a monster called Bipolar Which escaped from the shadows where it hid And to add to this schism I was fighting alcoholism A Demon that dwelled within It took me over whole Mind, body, and soul And drove me to deceit and sin Me, my Monster, and I Turned me into a Jekyll and Hyde Full of fear and doubt Anxiety and panic When I was manic I would lose time and black out While Hyde was mania, Jekyll was depression With him I would lose all emotion and expression I would escape into regret of the past in my mind Nothing mattered to me I would exist in apathy Every second of living became a tortuous long time The Demon would attack and consume me And when I drank he would assume me I would become his slave His bidding I would do No kidding, if it was you You’d understand you either quit or it’s the grave I only remember up to the middle of May I don’t even remember that year my own birthday For the Demon I was in inpatient therapy But they fiddled with messed up my meds And the Monster came out of hiding and took over my head And the Demon and Monster had a field day with me I am become the Zombie again It’s where I began to begin the end It gives me a headache, a real head-banger It totally consumes me It completely assumes me I am become the Doppelganger If you were looking, you were not seeing A fully functioning human being I was just a shell at the time Not coherent in thought The Monster and Demon fought To take over my body and mind. I was completely, totally broken No magic words or spell to be spoken My mind and body were in the deep six The sickness went deep down to my soul It raged in my head like an angry troll There was no fast remedy or quick fix I was falling down the rabbit hole of my psyche I was convinced there was no one else like me I was hallucinating I was as manic as a Mad Hatter And the Monster grew fatter If it wasn’t so sad it would be fascinating I’ve written this poem for those living with the stigma Of living with the Demon or Monster enigma And to let you know that you are not alone So don’t think you’re insane When the Demon or Monster take over your brain There is always hope you can find your way home Alcoholics like the anonymity under AA But I guess I’ve blown my cover anyway I just relied mostly on my will power Some meds therapy as well Recovery was my own little hell Minute by minute, hour by hour Day by day I keep the Demon and Monster at bay The Demon’s in chains, the Monster in his cage It’s about as free as free can get I take pen in hand and write this poem For myself all others like me who know them And I drink my coffee and smoke my cigarette…