The Loss of a Sister

We weren't like friends, We were like sisters; Bonded in such a way That my heart ached when we fought. You were always there, In your own peculiar way. You were always there, Making light of my problems. You were always there, Taking my mind off of everything... You were always there. You were never there, Letting me cry on your shoulder. You were never there, When I needed help. You were never there, To help me ease my pain... You were never there. And yet, Through all of my misery, I miss you. I miss my friend. I miss my sister. And we both made mistakes, Because neither one of us was perfect; But you made the ultimate mistake. You doubted my loyalty, You doubted our friendship, You doubted me. But it was you that you should have worried about. You ruined us. And yet, You still blamed me. You still made me believe That it was somehow My fault. And I hate you for it. But I hate myself even more; Because even though I hate you, And even though you aren't worth it, I still miss you every second of every day. I still wish that we could be friends again. And I hate it; Because even though I want to, God I want to, I can't let go. I just can't...