The Loser That Is Me

"Curious as to why I hate bullies?" "Yes, please be so kind as to freely tell me." "Because I was once the worst of of all bullies. I was the worst bully that could possibly be. I was one who was tormented by bullies continually in high school right through my grades of elementary, and then one day for some reason, the bullies accepted me, And What In The Bloody Friggin Hell Do I Do? I proved to myself what a low hypocrite I was. I proved to myself that I too was a bully too. I followed them blindly and tormented alongside them the victims that came after me. Regrets from my childhood will forever haunt me. I'll never find it in my heart to ever forgive me. I owe a few people from my childhood a very much over due apology. If that were possible, I still wouldn't blame them should they choose not to forgive me. I don't even remember their names I'm sad to say. I constantly feel so ashamed to this very day. I wouldn't know how to even search for all of them so I could say to all of them truthfully, "I'm so very sorry for the horrible things that I did to you back in school. I've no excuses, no reasons justify what I did to all of you. I just need you to know that I am most sincerely sorry and I wouldn't blame any of you should all of you still not wish to forgive me, I'd be willing to stand before you blindfolded with my hands tied securely behind my back. I'd allow you to give me your best shots. Give me all you've got. Give me my true payback and still I wouldn't blame any of you if all of you choose to never ever forgive me. I guess in my childhood ignorance, I just didn't possess any common sense, and that after being bullied for so long when many times I would openly cry, I wanted to just simply experience how it felt for once being on the other side. It was a brief period in my life. I learned the errors of my ways very quickly. I Once Stood So Very Small Briefly In The World Of The Bully. I'll never go there again. The world of the bully is most definetly not pretty. I am now no longer nor will I ever once again regress back to what I once used to be. and then maybe one day I can stop seeing myself as "The Loser That Is Me". Did I answer your question enough clearly? The above is why to this very day I am this way. This why I so despise and truly hate all bullies. They're a constant reminder that I still hate me. for what I once use to be. A Big Hypocritical, Blindly Following, Truest Lowest Of All Bullies.