The Last One

THE LAST ONE It’s very cold up North, the ice stretches for miles. There’s a knock at my window, oh! It’s my better half, and he smiles. “Come in” I said, “Come in and be quick! Put your sack down and flick, off the snow. You’ve been a long time, how did it go?” He sat shivering by the fire, rubbing his hands, “Don’t tell me!” I said, “More white vans!” “I don’t know how they expect you to deliver alright, With their drones, flying past your ears, all night! I’ve been sat here with the elves, worrying how you’d go, And would Rudolph’s nose, have a bright enough glow? What’s that you say? He had to land on the ground! I’m not surprised with all that wi-fi around. His route finder nose is all that you have, It is really time you got a new sat-nav. Next year, forget Earth, with its carbon, lorries and cars, It’s Amazon, its Ebay. It’s time to try Mars! Now look at your cheeks, they’re all rough and red, Here’s your nightgown and cap, it’s time for your bed. You go, and have a right good doze, An’ think on, them Martians have never had, A SANTA CLAUS!”