The Honest Truth

I want to be honest, fruitfully honest But now in pain, I waver I would much rather live in the dark hallows of my mind Where honesty is blurred in visions of imagination Blurred in a world where lies are often welcomed Lies often unfurl laces of truths I guess I never tried to be honest with myself When saying, I could have been wrong all along That day, when I met you, You were everything I ever dreamed of I was doubtful, I was gloomy I looked into your eyes, and everything that I had once felt dissipated I was truly enlightened by everything you were saying Your lips, they spoke of things I have already known and already feel But the way you said those words, It all seemed so new from your mouth Perhaps your words were shuffled in such a way that I thought it was new Or maybe I was just so mesmerized, so entranced by looking in your eyes That I decided in my mind that I have never heard this before, That I had never seen this before That I have never been in love like this before Sometimes I lie to myself and say I love you When in reality, perhaps I do not love you at all Perhaps I hate every moment that I think about you Because it stings like fire now It stings like fire… Sometimes I enjoy the sting; other times I cannot stand it I want to be away from it I wanna live my life without the flames of love licking at every piece of my soul I wanna be able to look into someone else’s eyes and see love there too That there is a possibility that I can get out of this rut This rut that not you, but I have created It’s silly isn't it? How one can lie to oneself for the sake of love For the sake of loving Sometimes I feel like a fool when I speak the truth Perhaps that is why that I lie to myself sometimes And say you are the only one.. When in reality, you’re the only one I cannot reach… That hurts. It really does hurt But it is the honest truth There is hope though There’s always hope and sometimes that is aggravating Because hope provides some truth to the lies inside Maybe love was meant to be explored in someone else’s shoes I never pretend to be someone else But at times I wish I was someone else *Note, I actually recorded this composition, and wrote down the spoken words. I have never tried that before-it was rather interesting. Tell me poets, how do you write your compositions? Do you say them out loud first? Do you hear the words in your mind and write them down silently? I would love to know your ways and methods! ~Laura