The Hole In My Soul

I dug a hole in the backyard last night. When I started digging I was thinking about death Perhaps I would just lie down and die, But then I realized it was not for dying but for living. It was designed to remove the cancer from my soul It was a gold mine… destined to be excavated by me So I took off my clothes and rubbed myself down with gasoline. I was hard and lean and if I stood just right in that pit I could feel the ashes I lit my hair on fire and watched it burn I had no fear. Not even a tattooed tear for I new it was meant to heal. As the flames got closer I lowered myself to the ground And took on a depreciated yoga pose that would heal my soul Crouching fool Squatting idiot Something more irreverent than Judas standing before the cross As the daylight broke over my dreams I realized that I was paralyzed A heliograph in the sky stared down on me Daring me to look back. Blind yourself and wrap yourself in barbed wire. Walk down the hall sideways Know no fear Heal thyself fool. I will do this every night, night after night, Until I find the truth. This is the end and I have no place else to go. It is the last place to measure out my life. Keep digging Or stop? That is the question they ask all the losers. Me I am going to keep on digging Because this hole is all I have. As published in the Taj Mahal Review Vol.2, Number 2, DEC 2013