The Green Bird

Poet's Notes

(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Constance La France.

I am trying to learn Iambic Pentameter, any help is appreciated.

A bird of green, was singing me a song- and on my hand it came, to look at me, I held my breath- and she became my friend . . . ________________________ February 2, 2016 Iambic Pentameter

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Vladislav Raven

Date: 3/11/2016 2:06:00 PM

Well Constance, i have been forgetting so much to put the ratings in at the moment, sorry for that. Here is your seven Constance....MIKE.

Vladislav Raven

Date: 3/11/2016 2:02:00 PM

Hi Constance, let the green bird ever sing you a song of peace and joy. Before i go any further the meter is correct. What gentle visions you do lay before us Constance. I read your words and my own visions sing in my heart. This is a wonderful poem Constance and it does sing so gently. In this write your gentle words give my peace. This is short, yes, but excellently short, a well written piece. A seven and into my faves for this piece Constance....MIKE.

Constance La France
Date: 3/11/2016 7:28:00 PM

Mike, I wrote this because I am trying to learn meter, it does not come naturally to me, so I appreciate your wonderful comment so much, thanks for the 7 and the fav ~

Duke Beaufort

Date: 2/3/2016 6:25:00 PM

...the green bird. Every day is precious. It is a gift. And with each day we know what we have lost. We are closer to our own end. I will be very sorry to say goodbye when that time comes. Your experience is so compelling and the way you deal with it is inspiring. There is some sadness if we just know where to look. We only hope it can be offset by a dose of hope and happiness.

Constance La France
Date: 2/3/2016 8:27:00 PM

Duke, when I realized I could write my sadness it was an epithany for me, suddenly a place to put the pain, yes our time is short in this life, and although I am filled with this forever grief, I do have my moments of true happiness and awe of nature, like the green bird on my hand, once one has stood at the gates of heaven knocking only to be turned away, life seems all that more precious ~

Duke Beaufort

Date: 2/3/2016 6:22:00 PM

Yes, you have 10 syllables to each line--a mini Shakespeare you are! Can be red with a slight accent on the alternating beats. So, I have been thinking about you as I always do since you are the queen of sadness. Kind of a favorite of mine here since I can empathize. We all have our brief time here and then, we are gone. But you should know that you have had a serious impact on me somehow. You exist inside of me in my own sadness--a reflection. Let me just say, that my thoughts are like....

Constance La France
Date: 2/3/2016 8:23:00 PM

Duke, such a heartfelt comment, you know if my poetry even touches one persons soul, it was worth all the time spent writing it and all the pain that poured into the paper, thank you from the bottom of my heart ~

White Sage

Date: 2/3/2016 4:23:00 PM

a beautiful theme, beautiful pic, and excellent trial...you're on the way, you've already grasped the Pandora box...opening it little by little I see, superb you!

Constance La France
Date: 2/3/2016 8:21:00 PM

Sage, oh such a lovely and encouraging comment, I love your reference to grasping the Pandora box, beautiful as your soul dearest Sage, thank you ~