The Good Daughter

having made her way out of the nest having made something of herself she rubs elbows with some of the city’s finest lawyers balancing her own practice with a sad attempt at having a social life--- she calls home to her mother, whom she visits every weekend upstate, doing her grocery shopping & doing whatever she can for her, the whole while listening to a constant critique of where she should be at the age that she is--- her mother insists that her daughter will not stay young forever, saying she has no fashion sense, always points out that she should try to go to the gym more often & never ceasing to make time to moan about wishing that she had grandchildren, asking why a woman who is as successful as her daughter cannot find a man--- the daughter doesn’t respond with anger & instead stays up at night when mother has fallen asleep working on cases & watching her remaining youth drift away, hundreds of miles away from the city she lives in the other five days of the week--- her mother’s own cervical cancer which was recently detected now is spreading & she is meeting with doctors in the coming weeks to begin radiation--- her daughter hopes that surgery is possible & wonders if the operation will force her mother into a more compromised position where she will no longer be able to live on her own--- the daughter’s life could very well be uprooted altogether & she could find herself stuck back in her home town waiting on her mother hand & foot, while still pretending to be able to practice law--- the clock is ticking & her friends in the city watch their lives prosper, moving on in ways that this daughter can really only dream of, being weighed down by something she never counted on happening when she put it all in motion--- ever the more exhausted, she started drinking a lot of coffee, then moved onto caffeine pills & after energy drinks & the lot didn’t work, she moved onto a little coke to try & get herself through--- she tells herself that she won’t need it forever, that it’s just for now so that she can balance all that is happening in her life.