The Fruit Cake Twins

one fake smile said to another fake smile at this “holiday” time of year that it was great to see them & that they’d been thinking of them all year with the obligatory hug followed by the obligatory chuckles at jokes that aren’t funny with a few questions about the family (yawn) or inquiry about a family that said fake smile might not have yet with condescension & awkward back paddling (yikes) applied directly thereafter all summed up with an expected moment of obligatory gift-giving accompanied by momentary tearing of packaging & the arrival upon the notion that each fake smile has been similarly uninspired & cheap, as between the two fake smiles lie in the their prospective hands two fruit cakes--- two fruit cakes, saying less to another person during a moment of obligatory gift-giving than might a gift certificate or perhaps even just a shrug of the shoulders (with a silent mental phlegm wad on the whole of it all)--- two fruit cakes, like the doublemint twins themselves at age 80 or so came right up to both fake smiles kissing them with hairy lips, loss of teeth & a case of bad breath that would make those mad scientists down below in their underground bases start to wonder that if they could contain it somehow, it could be spread over large stretches of the next enemy by stealth bombers or drones in any one of our perpetual wars--- two fruit cakes, now staring up at the mutual fake smiled, mutual fake laughing (oh my, what are the chances that this could happen?), thinking of nothing else but just how long it will take them to get home, rewrap these things & pawn them off on another sucker tomorrow.