The Fisherman's Torment

5am, the alarm goes off Who knows what today will bring Im up for the early worm Competing with the birds that sing But today is my day I’m prepared you see Maggots in the bait box, A flask full of tea Cheese rolls I have made These are for fuel And my thermal undies, Protecting my jewels So its off to the lake In my head a silent wish But make no mistake I’m gonna catch fish!! With my trusty rod And favourite float I arrive at the water And climb in my boat I row into the middle Mist creeping around The world is so silent Im hearing no sound I send out my first cast Oh this cannot be I didn’t see that coming I’m stuck in a tree! Not to worry, these things happen And I reel in my line Not panicked or shaken I’ll get it right next time So now I am fishing Maggot on my hook My full concentration Like it say’s in the book 8 hours later, No fish you will see A whole pint of maggots And I’ve drank all my tea I’m cold and I’m hungry But how can I go home With no tales of success Fingers froze to the bone This is some kind of torture Cold hands I now rub The wife will be laughing So I’m off down the pub I think I’ll take up golf