The Fake Ticket

To all of common ancestry All cousins to be sought Who bear the line within my vein Legitimate or not Akin to or by marriage Even once or twice behooved Descendants and dependents Even forcibly removed The fondest of all memories Of days gone by alas I won the free kin lottery You can all go kiss my yass You scoundrels and you liars Always said I was a fake That i laid down with my cousin And the cow at cavan lake I'm gonna take my scratch and win Down to the five and dime When I get back you best be packing Much more stuff this time Should I pack for nasty weather Are we leaving very soon I care less what you take with you Just so you're gone by noon Thank you for the lovely gift You spent your last two bucks So where you land upon your rass I couldn't give two trucks But if I croak along the way Or drop upon return You all can have my fortune Dizzy trucks you'll get your turn I suppose some readers might not get the joke. But it's been going around the internet now for many years. In most novelty stores, joke shops and gift shops, you can buy a phony winning scratch ticket. Has it ever happened to you? Get one for a friend. I highly recommend it.