The Doctor Is In! But Your R.E.D Blood Count Is Low! (A Monologue)

So, how long have you been waiting? No, it doesn't really matter! I just came in the game to quiet the chit chatter. And now that I am here, where should I start? First, I'll examine your head, and then I'll examine your heart. Did you really think that you had the skill to beat me. Like a student to a teacher, you should be happy to meet me. Just be happy to greet me, and get ready to get taught. My assistance should be sought, for those weak rhymes that you brought. In my medical opinion, you can not pass this test. I am the best, and I would hate to have to open up your chest. But, be my guest! R.E.D must mean Really Envies Destroyer, But I'll take care of that, as soon as Nate the GREAT can Deploy her. Maybe R.E.D means Really Easily Done Your defeat will be so fun, since I am second to none. I know! R.E.D means Reaches Eventual Destruction! I already started keeping score, and you just got your first deduction. But, once I destroy you, I will help you get better. You must follow my instructions, right down to the letter. My first prescription is called "get a little back-bone!" Out of this battle, you will be gone, unless you can change your tone. No battle is ever won before the first word is thrown. I don't care who I battle! In the end, I will stand alone! My second prescription is called "get a little more skill!" Your wounds will soon heal, but come again and you will get killed. Practice makes perfect, so you might just want to chill, Because this DOCtor does not come cheap. Can you afford my bill? My third prescription is a good one called "get a little smarts!" Or, get carried away on a cart, if you can not play your part. When I begin throwing darts, I am aiming for your heart. So, decide if you got what it takes, before you start. Get these prescriptions filled, then see me in a week, And, remember, they are good for the healing that you seek.