The Dirt Gobblins

I always wondered where the dirt came from, cleaning had me in a rut. I don’t allow shoes inside, and with air conditioning, I keep the windows shut. My mother said it came from dirt goblins, they’re lovers of dirt and smut. And Goblins love to play. Strewing dirt about, as around they strut. They invite their friends, and then leave us with lint, fluff, and a dusty glut. I finally put nightlights in the bedroom’s to keep them out, I’d had enough! The dirt goblins come in from the outside, they live among the shadows. They make their homes under the beds, behind boxes, or in the darkest hallows. They track the dirt everywhere. Yesterday, I even found some candle tallow! They follow your pet to gather their hair, the perfect nest to burrow. If you aren’t quick at this point, with little dirt goblins you’ll be blessed tomorrow. We don’t fight or make them mad. My husband handles them without sorrow. My fearless husband invites them down to the friendly basement below. He’s very good as he talks and becomes their friends, you know They’re lonely and want to play, so he makes promises, to help them go. Then he opens a box full of gifts, from the vacuum bag he bestows. He tells them of the neighborhood, as he makes a map full of important info. Then he releases them into the back yard, on this mission he quietly tiptoes. Everyone wonders what he doing with the boxes in the yard he lays about. He’s sneaking them out into the yard, with directions given to the goblin scout. My house is becoming cleaner, as the goblins slowly continue to move out. Pretty soon we’ll have the cleanest house in the neighborhood, throughout. If they come back, we’ll send them to the other neighbors, as our gifts give us clout. And as for the boxes, beyond any doubt we’ll never let that secret out. Written 5-18-2011