The Days That Brought Me Here

I thought I would go backwards Into my uncertain My awkward The days of my wondering What will I be when I grow up? Will I ever grow up? Is everyone better than me? Boy I wish I could be more like that That guy Yep him The athletic confident one Words come so easy to him Jokes flow freely from his lips And they laugh They love being with him What's it like to be that self assured? He has so many friends None of them would ever talk to me What would it be like to hang out with the cool kids? I try telling myself It doesn't matter I have a few friends I want it to be enough I think it's enough With them I imagine and pretend To be funny Interesting Until One smile One chuckle at a time I gradually become me A better more confident self Assured Witty A lover of words Dialogue Conversation I talk my way towards my future While listening for clues Building myself two by twos Real friends are the ones I choose Their words Teach me about them and myself I don't hide on lonely street There are more people to meet So I jump up off my seat Rewrite myself on many a sheet Until I can follow and hear my internal beat Do what needs doing Repeat and repeat Until I come to here and now Breathless with WOW Understanding HOW That uncertain and awkward part Changed everything It still is And Always Will be An important part of me Because it helped me see There are many many Incredible Significant and individual ways to be So now I choose Care Free!