The Cross I Bear Without My Confidant

... Then it sunk in you were gone, no more moments, laughs, or cries to share, just my writing of poetry to get me along, through this cross that I was given to bear. Events taking place as I'm thrown, thrown in it's pits and no escape in sight, I am living a life I never have known, & have never learned of from lessons in life. So unprepared for the pain endured, by my slaughtered heart killed with yours, hearing the news of you left me torchered , by events & it's pits I have been reborn. I became an angry, and hopeless person, bitter from the loss of your life I took so hard, affected so badly I've lost sight of me as a person, & reborn to become what I despised just to start. Seeking relief of your memory in any way, turning to all kinds of the evil surrounding me, praying to meet with you again someday, but not going till I find you didn't die in vain. We went through times so good and so hard, we did many things bad and good too, why did it all go wrong and drift so far, because all memories good or bad, was with you. I'll miss you dearly and for you I will change my ways, that being reborn has forced upon my acts & thoughts, you'll forever be known,while your body now lays, from a pointless act of violence in a dirt covered box. ... Then it sunk in you were gone, I saw you pale dressed up and just lying there just my writing of poetry now to get me along, through this cross that I was given alone to bear.