The Barnacle On My Bum Part 2

My tale about the barnacle I bared upon my bum has now passed into legend and folk law The battle I thought was over and now long done Just when I thought I could sit down and relax and lick my wounds and heal my poor bum I now have two barnacles clinging on instead of one. Their jealous of each other and like a porcupines my bum is very sore I'm stuck in the middle and I don't think I can take any more!!!!!. My telephone is melting and they push love notes through my door I'm divided down the middle and I'm preparing for war. I have no idea why they follow me around like flies maybe it's my aftershave that smells so nice There's nothing about me I do declare but everytime I turn around there's always someone there. Why couldn't it ever be who I really like I even tried to escape on my motorbike last night I thought I was just saddle sore but latter when I pulled my trousers down what did I see not two barnacles but three. I darn't leave the house no more and I've barricaded myself in I'm now a nervous wreck and I've taken to drinking Gin I've sealed the letter box and took the phone of the hook and have been searching amazon for a useful book. If your a poor sufferer too have a hammer and chisel we can help each other get through just bare your bum like me and maybe we could throw the barnacles back into the sea. ''Beware! their out there''. Peter Dome. copyright.2014.march.