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The Balls: A Parody of Poe's the Bells

I Hear the bouncing of the balls-- Basketballs! What a sound of merriment they cause when each ball falls! How they echo, echo, echo, Inside the gymnasium walls, Arriving at a crescendo While the spectators shout “Bravo!” Drowning the referee’s calls; And the players start To make their last dart Amidst the reverberation ricocheting off the stalls From the balls, balls, balls, balls, Balls, balls, balls-- From the bouncing and the dribbling of the balls. II Hear the ticking of the balls, Ping-pong balls! What a soft and easy sound comes from their bounce and rolls! In the crowded room that’s bright How they fill it with delight! Like the ticking of a clock, Steady but fast, Or the picking of a lock, What tune they make with their ceaseless tick-tock, Until at last-- Oh, what a miss that appalls The audience that has remained speechless in the halls How it falls! How it scrolls! And the erring player rolls His fists at his own pitfalls By the swinging and his missing To hit the balls, balls, balls The balls, balls, balls, balls, Balls, balls, balls-- To hit the light and small and saffron ping-pong balls! III Hear the loud thud of the balls-- Volleyballs! What feeling of suspense is caused by their great falls! Across the nets stretched tight How they gracefully take flight! The watchers anticipating, Who would win they keep waiting, Breathlessly. Until the umpire from his platform blows a long shrill whistle, And the balls drop on the ground like useless heads of missile. Then tempers start to bristle In the air there is a rustle From both player and spectator To win the set or never Hold the trophy covetously. Oh, the balls, balls, balls-- "Pick them up!" the umpire bawls. Once again The balls are hit, tossed, and passed And the game goes on full blast While the players on each side dare not complain Yet the audience fully knows By the spiking And the digging How the game would sooner close. Who would be covered in palls Suffer beating, ‘Cause of losing, And forced to receive catcalls For dismally failing to score and keep afloat the balls, The volleyballs-- The volleyballs, balls, balls, balls, Balls, balls, balls-- In the scrambling and the spiking of the balls! March 18, 2023

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John Lawless

Date: 3/18/2023 5:53:00 AM

it took balls to write this Ryan. Poe's "Balls" always drove me crazy as we were "forced" to listen to it repeatedly by a deranged english teacher.

Ryan Gayagay
Date: 3/18/2023 5:55:00 AM

Yes, sir! There's still 1 stanza left in Poe's original. But ugh! Thanks for reading!