The Art of Shaving

Since time immemorial, or so I've heared, Mankind has struggled to tame his beard. Was it Adam who imposed upon us this atrocious curse? (I reckon I could sport a beard but to that I am averse.) I've scraped and nicked my mug fer nigh on four-score years, So I will share my shaving experience to educate my peers. First, splash a generous supply of soapy water on yer kisser, So as to arouse the attention of each and every whisker. Apply a liberal amount of Burma Shave to ease the stress, When with that wicked razor blade yer jowls you do caress. Twist yer schnoz at an acute angle in order to shave below the nose, Taking care not to nick yer double chins and any problems that may pose. Once this onerous task is done, use toilet tissue to heal the bloody nicks, Then apply a liberal amount of Old Spice to really impress the chicks! (I must confess that I use an electric shaver to mow my intractable stubble. 'Tis so much smoother on my leathery hide and sure is a lot less trouble!) Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired (c) 2014 All Rights Reserved