The Addict and the Saint

Keep looking at your picture in my phone The one you sent me when you were all alone Pressing that screen to see that live video Wishing you'd reach through and grab hold of me again So fond of you but i don't wanna be your friend We spent too many nights naked and grindin, you bending me over your essence on my skin now i'm strung out like an addict told myself you were just a bad habit i couldn't deny it once you ripped the needle from my arm it felt like i was dying You went from bending me over to saying it's over but i'm under your spell I'll admit you bring out the worst in me alter ego, that me they don't wanna see I'm the church girl, the mother the professional but you woke up that deviant no one knows I'm not in love just high off orgasms and i still don't know what makes me higher your mouth in my thighs or your mouth on my ear you challenge my thoughts and my feelings I just wanna stare at your lips and breath in your intelligence See i know you did the right thing this was getting too wild, almost frightening but my alter ego is a control freak she's not going down without a fight she wants you, and she'll kill me to get you so what do I do? I'm a sex addict and a saint don't know which me is more real who's me and who ain't i love God i love sex i love the sanctuary and *** for a long time the other lay dead then you came then i came alter ego resurrected i feel so disconnected but not defeated if she wants a fight that's just what she'll get I'm not ready to die too many people rely on the woman i am when i'm not under that man Yea i know it sounds simple but the truth is it hurts because the addict is still me so fighting her leaves bruises on my head on my chest between my legs so many scars and i want it to stop can't we be at peace? but the battle was never promised an end it was promised to me if i endured till the end so the fight is daily the addict and the saint i still long for your touch but the saint won't give up.