The Celibate Worm

Now I am a worm with a problem It’s very sad to relate For I have fallen in love with an earthworm And long to make her my mate. But here is the crux of my story With the sting, so to speak, in the tail For that just doesn’t appeal to her At least not to the end that is male. How can I make love to my darling When her other end turns up his nose At every offer of friendship That stems from my feminine toes? I’ve done all I can to attract him From the shimmy to striptease divine, But all I caught was my death of cold And forced my back out of line. Just put yourself into my problem Then you’ll know how a fellow must feel Who’s doomed to a celibate lifetime Just because his tail lacks sex-appeal.