Thats Settled Then

The shock that I felt was enormous, as the tab on the cat food I pulled, a fountain of biscuits shot out of the top- the box, it was actually full ! I stood, disbelieving, bewildered, this never had happened before, I finally came to my senses again and swept all the bits off the floor. 'Contents are liable to settle', I've seen it on loads of foodstuffs, in some cereals, where half of it is fresh air and what's left is just not quite enough. And bags of crisps, don't get me started, whatever the flavour or range, seven flakes, powdered crumbs which just coat both your thumbs and then leave your tongue feeling short-changed. Forgive me, for always believing (and I think most folks do, by and large) that the air we breathe in now and always has been since the dawn of mankind, free of charge. So why do the makers of products include something already free? Just give us lots more of the thing I paid for and leave all the breathing to me. And when my time one day is over and no longer am in fine fettle, the box I'm carried off in, on the lid of the coffin write ' contents are liable to settle'.