Thats a Moray

[An offering for fans of Dean Martin... or not. More or less to the tune of ‘That’s Amore’ (not the ‘In Napoli’ bit), this is the cleaned up version of an unprintable original. In UK ‘Old Fellow’ is a euphemism for... let’s just call it man’s best friend.] *** Big long fish in the sea Eight foot long and wriggly That's a Moray Well I pooped in my trunks It was biting off chunks That's a Moray First it bit my thing My ding a ling a ling People on the scene Heard me bellow This big fish just bit me And it swam away with my old fellow Then I heard someone squeal That big fish was an eel That's a Moray Then they bought me a skirt To conceal where I hurt Fair enough Well, I gave it a whirl Living life as a girl But no more, eh? ’Cause I went down the pub For a flirt and some grub That’s amore See , this bloke wandered by With that look in his eye That’s amore He said hey babe what’s yours Slipped his hand down my drawers That’s amore? But he felt quite a chump As he fondled my stump End of soirée Had a tear in my eye At his hasty bye bye That’s amore I learned electronics Made some bionic bits That’s amore Ladies squeal with delight When I ‘stay up’ all night They’re in love And they all ask of me Is that whole thing for me That’s... A Moray But I’ll write nothing more As I think this has gone... ...Far enough.