That Happy Smile of This Girl I Know

I want a reason to live My heart wrenches in pain all too often Tears stream down my cheeks Trembling lips An urge to scream loudly I hold it all in. There are way too many thoughts swirling in my head Dizziness and a feeling of loneliness Creeping right under my skin A mental breakdown is soon to show I hold it all in. Everyday I get closer to believe Death might be a better place For one who is nothing but a hindrance to oneself I hold it all in. Thoughts of doing harm again It is getting tough not to do so Letting everything spill on the floor The water stealing every drop away I hold it all in. Weights fallen drastically Who notices, no one Trying to be pretty Who am I kidding? I am nothing but bones A shell yet full of too many emotions. La la la la. Mind not clear. Eyes clouded. Throat soar. Body numb. I want to leave. Somewhere faaaaar away. I am afraid of the day I can not hold it all in That day shall be My Death Wandering off to somewhere else Fed with lies from all sides I am Alone.