Tears Are Not Allowed

When my father died, I could not cry He never taught me how To unleash and rinse the pain inside To roll where agony ploughed I learnt from, to be a man Tears are not allowed. I wanted to understand his death, my Emptiness, and lack of will My young distrust of randomness For my invulnerable hero How could it be that this thing got him still And why should I build again Sand castles for sudden cycles of rain? The house was dark without his voice Setting Shakespearian lines aflame In my ancestral history he taught me to rejoice When many hid their face in shame O but if only he had me prepared And made sample just a tear When I quivered before his scolding there I would have wept away so much In the brutal blistering of years I would have been refreshed again to touch The part of me that hidden cares It would have balmed me for his death Comforted me from love's regret But in a man, tears are not allowed.