Survival Strategy

Each day he felt the distance growing, separating him from where and who they thought he should want to be. Though he was adrift in the currents of prevailing winds, he felt the pull of strong undertows -- and he didn't know to which he should acquiesce or against which he should struggle. He neither acquiesced nor struggled. "Didn't he think he should shave, shower regularly, get a hair cut, lose weight, shine his shoes, change clothes, and show up early? Shouldn't he set an example?" He wanted to imagine a "but" to refute apparent logic, could do no better than to scribble description which drifted across the pad, influenced by other undertows. He tried to last, having once believed in the universal flux, but could no longer. Finally, he avoided mirrors and others' eyes, kept to the rooms' darker corners, and no longer engaged in conversation -- not even with himself.