Strolling Through Evergreen Cemetery

I was strolling through Evergreen Cemetery the other day, Glancing at epitaphs etched upon various stones along the way. Some flowing verse was out of this world but I can only assume, That the authors were forthcoming in how they met their doom! "Should an inconsiderate bird upon my stone alight, Please do me a favor and remove the blight!" "Here reposes a dude who tried to rob a lady teller, But she was a keener shot than this unlucky feller!" "Here sleeps ace pilot Captain Cletus Cole; His wings were clipped attempting a barrel roll!" "Here reclines butcher Clyde who cheated on his wife. Unknown to him she was also adept at wielding a butcher knife!" "Here lies Hank his mortal shell riddled with lead. He was nabbed rustlin' steers and the sheriff shot him dead!" "Here is deposited the corpus of Eddie a top-notch baker. He is now serving assorted donuts to his beloved Maker!" "Please relay your regards as by this way you pass, But for heavens sake, keep off the cottin' pickin' grass!" "On a banana peel the dear departed slipped and fell. We pray he landed in paradise and not in hell!" "He didn't know his Volkswagen had all that power. He met his doom head-on doing 90 miles per hour!" "Fer nigh on 40 years old Hank rode this earthly range; Now he rides in that final roundup on that heavenly grange!" "Gambler Jim has left very few friends behind to grieve; He was caught with a couple of aces up his sleeve!" Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired (c) 2015 All Rights Reserved