Strange Coldness Perplexing

the catholic nurse all sensitive caring noticing everything what can she think of my hot/cold torment always near blowing it living in the fast lane so friendly kind the girls dewy eyed wanda abandoned me bolton is in my hands and yet my coldness hurts the more emotional they stay trying to find a reason for my ice-like suspicion fish eyes coldly indifferent eyes suspect everything that moves socialising just to be loud compensate for cold lack of essential trust warmth i love them despite myself my desire to love is unconscious and gigantesque i never know when i'm going to miss someone strange coldness perplexing i've got to work to get devotion but once i get it i really get people on my side there are my people who can survive my shark-like coldness and there are those who want something more personal i can be very devoted to those who can stay the course my soul is aching for an impartial love of people i'm at war with myself. ("Strange Coldness Perplexing" was forged using notes scrawled onto seven sides of an ancient now coverless notebook sometime in the late 1980s, or early '90s).