Get Your Premium Membership

Story Behind the Secret

Poet's Notes
(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Edwin Hofert.


The Secret

 

Is very dear to me. While not each and every word is thought out and planned in its intent or meaning. It is written exactly the way it's supposed to be. It's the story of a little boy conceived in betrayal. An affair of two people both married to someone else. Told his father died when still a baby.

 

(Lied Together) was intentional and the basis for the whole poem.

 

He had a best friend while growing up and he struggled with depression all his life.

 

The first time it's remembered he was 7 years old and drying dishes as his mother washed them. Overcome by sadness he began to cry for no apparent reason.

 

(The Devil whispered You are a mistake) (Sadness he can't shake)

 

He grew close to his best friends father and after years of being separated from his friend he and his friends father remained close.

 

The father died and years later so did his best friend.

 

Both due to heart related problems

 

One week later a grown man now in his forties was told the secret.

His best friends father was also his father.

 

When this poem was written was almost 14 years after the truth came out and it was written through tears he cried. The secret remained a secret all that time and for the most part until right now is still a secret to the world at large.

 

I know this story well. And it's through tears now I tell you only in hopes of no longer bearing the burden of a lie that was never mine to bear.

 

I am The Secret.

 

And this story is mine.

 

If any of this poem seems forced. Maybe it's because it came from the deepest depths of my soul. But I can only tell you that when it was written it was like the breaking of a dam. For the first time it was free.

 

It's not a story of overcoming adversity. At least not yet. Because the 14 years it went without really being dealt with at all. Over that period of time I've lost nearly everything and didn't see it going. People may look at me now and see what they call a loser.

 

But I'm not a loser. I was lost. Broken by lies. Secrets.

 

I'm now 54 and am only beginning to start the long climb back to who I once was and to who I hoped to be.

 

My poetry saved my life and it is now my hope that by sharing it openly maybe it will save another life as well.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. My poem. My secret.

 

God bless.

 

Sincerely Edwin C Hofert

The Secret Somewhere someplace not far away a couple lied together. No talk about the future no talk about forever. They had lovers of their own their lovers were not there. It's best if kept a secret the love that they would share. Lost in loves great passion covered in each others sweat. They're going to have a baby but they don't know it yet. In nine months the baby born a secret softly cries. So much still for him to learn of life conceived in lies. Often he just played alone it seemed it was his way. Then one day the secret was sent outside to play. He grew strong like others did he gave it all his best. Without one clue he never knew the truth beat in his chest. Overwhelmed again and again the sadness he can't shake. The devil whispered in his ear “You are a mistake”. Still he tried through tears he cried to somehow rise above. Getting lost time and again in his search for love. When the walls came crashing down his whole world fell apart. Welcome to the world of secrets and to your broken heart. Shattered like a piece of glass his dreams fell to the ground. Somewhere up near heaven even angels heard the sound. Tears poured from his heart and soul through both day and night. Searching for some healing in words that he would write. Broken in so many ways all he meant for good. Forever somehow secret where some misunderstood. Now he walks in shadows seeking shelter from the rain. Don't you dare look in his eyes you'll get lost inside his pain. Like the secret long ago he spends his time alone. It seems being by himself is now his comfort zone. Asking nothing from no one wanting only just to give. The only dream he still dreams is live and just let live. A million miles on his heart and tears that he still cries. So it is for secrets and those conceived in lies. Edwin C Hofert

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 3/29/2015 9:59:00 PM
I really love this one. It made me cry for you and reading the notes behind it is really touching. You are a brilliant writer. I'm glad you found a way to get your feelings out and I hope your depression gets better
Login to Reply
Runyan Avatar
Janet Runyan
Date: 3/29/2015 11:13:00 PM
I find that my best writing comes with sadness or anger as well. Lol
Hofert Avatar
Edwin Hofert
Date: 3/29/2015 11:09:00 PM
Thank you Janet. As crazy as it might sound, I've learned to embrace the sometimes sadness that comes over me. And to be honest some of my best writings find their way to the surface while in that state. It's no longer crippling. Thank you so much. God Bless. Ed

Book: Shattered Sighs