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The Secret
Is very dear to me. While not each and every word is thought out and planned in its intent or meaning. It is written exactly the way it's supposed to be. It's the story of a little boy conceived in betrayal. An affair of two people both married to someone else. Told his father died when still a baby.
(Lied Together) was intentional and the basis for the whole poem.
He had a best friend while growing up and he struggled with depression all his life.
The first time it's remembered he was 7 years old and drying dishes as his mother washed them. Overcome by sadness he began to cry for no apparent reason.
(The Devil whispered You are a mistake) (Sadness he can't shake)
He grew close to his best friends father and after years of being separated from his friend he and his friends father remained close.
The father died and years later so did his best friend.
Both due to heart related problems
One week later a grown man now in his forties was told the secret.
His best friends father was also his father.
When this poem was written was almost 14 years after the truth came out and it was written through tears he cried. The secret remained a secret all that time and for the most part until right now is still a secret to the world at large.
I know this story well. And it's through tears now I tell you only in hopes of no longer bearing the burden of a lie that was never mine to bear.
I am The Secret.
And this story is mine.
If any of this poem seems forced. Maybe it's because it came from the deepest depths of my soul. But I can only tell you that when it was written it was like the breaking of a dam. For the first time it was free.
It's not a story of overcoming adversity. At least not yet. Because the 14 years it went without really being dealt with at all. Over that period of time I've lost nearly everything and didn't see it going. People may look at me now and see what they call a loser.
But I'm not a loser. I was lost. Broken by lies. Secrets.
I'm now 54 and am only beginning to start the long climb back to who I once was and to who I hoped to be.
My poetry saved my life and it is now my hope that by sharing it openly maybe it will save another life as well.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. My poem. My secret.
God bless.
Sincerely Edwin C Hofert