Sting of the Bee

How am I supposed to feel, how should I feel? Should this not hurt, should this be filled with joy? A warm place is all I long for Comfort & understanding There's just something about it...when skin touches Behind my smile is so much you don't know Holding hands puts it there; unraveling my hair sends chills Am I being forced to feel this way? I haven't been asked Inside I am crying, where you cannot see There are things you should know, but I cannot bring myself to tell All I can do is hope that you won't ask I know, someday I will have to tell you But for now, hand in hand is all I need I feel something inside of me dying, which you had once brought to life Now because of it, my heart has halted; & love may never come The temptation to ask you how you feel, sneaking up on me Just like how death sneaks up on you when the bee stings Will we ever be heart to heart? Will we ever be anything at all, anything with meaning? Twirling your hair around my fingers makes me ask myself what is it for? Just another good time Pulling out the stinger is the hardest part Smiles overcome the pain, but it can still hurt Waiting all day to read your words; is it just a waste of time? What should I do about this buzzing sound in my head? The bees of your comfort are starting to sting reluctantly I guess it's a good thing I don't swell up like you Perhaps this is what I'm jealous of Making lips connect is what you're exceptionally good at Still there is so much that needs fixed The split ends of my hair remind me of my feelings for you Warm & fragile, yet damaged Drowning in the waves of my own regret Can I not keep it to myself? Dyed hair can only cover up so much It is a game that I have learned to be good at Sometimes with you I get lost in thinking Thoughts that may have no purpose or implication Could it ever be true, that you feel this way? Remind me of what is in the mirror Shattering it seems to be the only relief But in the end, what is worth what? Infatuation Such a list of common interests But compared to mine your body is bare I miss it all; smiles you put on my face How much longer should I take the stings? How awkward it is now to be around you How much more is this going to drag out? Until it hangs itself Bee stings hurt but so does silence At this point you are the cause of both My head on your chest brings comfort & your change of heart Still in the end Am I really worth it?