Stil Continued Sorry So Long

stood still,” has never been more real to me than in that moment. I tried to tell myself it wasn’t real, but those words that my mom spoke as we walked in the house, “he’s gone,’ kept ringing through my head louder than anything. It was silent, other than the sobs. I have never heard silence be so loud. I kept thinking, “how can my dad be gone, this can’t be real, maybe this is a mistake, not my daddy.” I am writing this book because I want others to know that they aren’t alone. I want others to know that it’s okay to have questions and that it’s okay to feel the way you do as long as you don’t come to rest on those feelings. I was very angry for a long, long time. I didn’t understand how a loving God would let my dad do something like this. Now I understand, we have free will. We make our own decisions and those decisions have consequences, and when you have a family, and you love people and are loved by people those consequences don’t only affect you, they affect everyone around you. In this book you will find poems from a few months after my dad passed away until just recently and it’s been six year. I hope this brings some comfort to you an gives you hope. It may seem like your world is falling apart, but don’t give up. In these poems you may find that you have the same feelings or the same questions. I can’t promise you that you’ll find an answer, but I can promise you that even though it may not seem like it now, that it will get easier. You will be able to begin to live your life if you choose to. Sometimes the past will hinder us, but we have to learn to let go and let God. I would not have made it to the point I am in my life now had I not learned to lean on God. I tried for a long time to hide the pain, hide the feelings, and hide from God when all along all I needed to do was run to God because He was waiting for me, just like He’s waiting for you. I can’t sit here and say there aren’t times when I still wonder why or what I could have done, but I do know that it has gotten easier. There are still days where I question what I could have done and I think about my dad everyday, but I am trying to learn more and more everyday to give every piece of it to God.