Steadfast Sinking

I can’t feel my knees. I’m moving in earnest to stay afloat, yet I can’t stop my heart. Palpitations oncoming like waves in a tsunami, and I can’t catch my breath. I’m breathing as if it’s my last breath alive, but I feel everything. The weight on my shoulders, the water filling my lungs, so I freeze. Is time wandering without me, or Am I drowning? I feel everything all at once like a crash of a wave, but The receding of the tide fills me with hope until the waves wash it away. I am not okay.