Staying Sober

I know this is the hardest *****for me to ever do I know alcohol has always been apart of my life it's like it's the only truth sometimes I drink so much I can't even remember you I want to stay sober yet I still keep thinking about that next drink I'd rather sit in my alcoholic pains trapped in the bottle where many dreams seem to sink I know once that bottle is empty all thats left is me and my thoughts shattered in a dream I can hear my inner soul holler while my spirit seems to scream I know I can be an alcholic fiend But don't judge until you have walked in my shoes and seen what I've seen I know I try and let this *****go but yet without the booze it seems I can't let my mind grow It's like I need this *****just to make it to another daily show I been through all this same *****before I know what it's like when an alcoholic is sitting in his own filth on the floor I know I need to be a better father so my kids don't grow up to be poor I need to provide I need to speak truth and get past all my own lies I need to comfort my kids when I her their cries I need to find the solution when it's hard for my family to find I need to think about my kids so they remeber me as a good father in this time I need to find a way I need to find a way to smile for the day Im trapped in a ark alcoholic daze You see me running around alcoholic words like Im in some written maze I know it's really up to me to make that one significant change I know I used to everyday but it seems nowadays I almost never pray and it should'nt be that way when my skies are all dark and gray I know my life is almost over I done ran my luck I only got one clove left on my four leaf clover Her name is struggle and strife and it feels as if only Im the one who knows her But i guess life is what I make it and it should'nt be so hard to staying sober