Stand With Me

It hurts when you realize your the person you never wanted to be When your smiles are just a disguise to cover a frown When laughter just comes when it hear everyone else s When our torn down and broken and just a depressed And you don't know why or what happen No specific event caused it You happiness just got up and paused it Your life Now you have to think twice before you want to go hang out with friends because you don't want to be a Debby Downer Because this pain This pain you feel NO ONE with ever understand It is unexplainable and you don't want them to understand You don't Want anymore pills or a mental heath hospital bed Or to be locked up and caged up like and animal Like you not human Just because they think and want to help If you want to help me Show me LOVE Because that is all i ever need it Yes i have heard it And yes i remember feeling it a few times in my life But i want the kind of love like soldiers willing to die for this country when they give the orders And no i am not talking about like the wars today And talking about wars like the civil war A single person running in to battle just with the faith that his fellow soldiers will stand behind him and not flee Because that the kind of love i need To have the courage to be my self and have faith the everyone will love me for it and stand behind me To experiment on me and to know that people will except it just to have a piece of me To cry and not be called weak To know whether or whether not i am skinny ,fat or thick that i will be loved Every scar ,imperfect mark, Stupid habit , lump. roll , curve,temper tantrum, will basically through everything That i will be loved and respected for being me Not this Hot mess that everyone has shaped and molded me to be Me raw , No covering or attachments And that is all i have ever what to be And even thought i am still searching i want to know and be sure at the end of my journey you will love me (who ever that person might be) And i will do the same for you To my readers i am a young poet , if you read my last poem you will know i am 15 this is me. .i wrote this poem because i just woke up Feeling like writing but i was to afraid of what people might think. Angered with my self i put it in my head that i would do this and not care i am proud of my work whether you like it or not. Much love goes to all my viewers and i hope you comment they mean a lot to me, ~April