Stains

It’s been a long time since Ive seen you You used to be there And now that you are gone I am left here to stare at the Purple amyethist sky through my elevated window And flecks of amber dust pass by carried by the winds rubbing against my face even when I put up my hand to block them The purple sky is scarred by a bright pink, And disrupted by a squealing loud harsh orange The sun is setting And I am saying goodbye to more than just the sun I am not staying here So this is it I tuck my suitcase into my side to breathe for a moment What you’ve taken I will work to get back My lips are to cracked to smile And my face is streaked with white crusted hard tear stains They will crumble away But tear stains don’t ever really leave do they They are called stains after all Under the tear stains is that ugly rugged scar The one with the dried up blood zig zagged across my check You made your marks on my body They are everywhere So that now every time I look into the mirror all I see is you You and your stone cold gray empty lifeless barren frigid stealthy parsimonius thin powerful frightening icy eyes And your thin tight lips held together so tight it was as if they were concealing something Or if they were keeping pressed closed to hide a secret Your rugged prickly ashy face With the scar on your chin You had many scars passed down to you, and now you’ve given them to me I look back and smile in tears Tears that rush over the tear stains Trying to wash them away but instead It clumps over the old ones What happened here will never leave me And as painful as it is it has become a large part of me Sometimes I think I miss you but It it is just me once again feeling the emotions you’ve built in me The way I once felt that you were superior The way I once hated myself They way I used to think I couldn’t live without you The way I thought this was normal I am done here And I let the curtains sashay to the ground Brushing the carpet you loved And sticking against the walls that were once blood stained I walk out because it is all over In a way But I know that I will always remember this It is engraved and carved into me like the lines in the tree bark I am stained and this place is stained Because every time I pass by I will remember No amount of washing or covering up can fix this In a moment I am able to smile and it cracks the tear stains But it doesn’t shed them off