Special Taste

Do not confuse my compliance with agreement. My quiet is not for your appeasement. I’m trying to survive, while knowing my suffering makes you feel alive. I’ll never understand, how pushing me down, causes you to thrive. Is there a special taste in my fear? A satiation of your thirst that is quenched by a tear? How do you see yourself when you look in a mirror? Would you cease to exist if I wasn’t here? I am sucked up by your need. Your “Love me love me” creed! Your soul hole is to big to feed. You’re a human parasite, or a deep rooted weed. How much more, will you cause me to bleed? I am child You hold all the power. An imposing figure like a clock tower. I am held in your tick talk grip, hour after hour. As I grow quieter, you become louder and louder. Now I make my great escape. My own new world a different landscape. The old me hung out to dry, like a freshly cleaned sheet draped I become, my own Super Hero, with a brand new cape. Without you, my strength grew. I did not allow you, to determine who I should be, or what I am supposed to do. That part of my life is finally through. All the lies you forced fed me, none of them were real. I didn’t know then how I should feel. You somehow convinced me you were a big deal. Now you hold no sway and little appeal. I got off of your mind controlled hamster wheel! My life’s now my own, I stopped the steal. I am reading Edith Egler’s book “The Gift” It caused me to contemplate abuse at the hands of my father. I wrote another piece titled Eddy in which I tried to understand what shaped who he became. I am not angry with him anymore. He passed away over 20 years ago. I must admit it was an important part of my family healing.