Sore Heart

All I can think of, is the million different ways... that you will try to screw me over. And I can't change my mind. I've got the worst kind. Sabotaging, Anticipating, Spiraling, Catastrophizing. I don't think Love is for me. It always comes with pain. Even when good and healthy, my mind still thinks this way. Ruminating. Contemplating... in disbelief. But, still believing. Warned you once, and then twice. Then again and again and again. Wasn't kidding, at all when I said... my mind'll spin and spin and spin. Be everything I need, and all that I want... and what I never had before. I know it's crazy. I'm unrealistic. Void's been burning me deep to my core. Do you deserve better? Do I deserve more? Do I need hate? Can you still adore? All I can do is put trust in something, even when my heart is torn. Believe that this love is worth all things; the terror, the pain... the crazy... the dizzy... the anxiety.... the agony... the want... then the hate... my heart is just too damn sore.