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Something Not Quite Right

the man had a flat expression and showed no emotion he seemed disconnected his movements bizarre and his eyes lost sometimes standing motionless on the busy street corner with his little dog I always gave him money (what's a few bucks to me ) thinking this is someone's child baby oh he was sloppy his hygiene lacking the man's memory muddled confused but he did have a history locked within deep inside at nineteen he was hearing voices paraniod thoughts hullucinations bizarre (like the pope was from outer space) delusional he had withdraw from society run away did not want to be a burden no one understood disorganized and poor judgement made working impossible they yelled at him (he threw away his pills) he wrote in cheap journals from edge to edge top to bottom words jumbled meaningless (in a secret language) he did not show happiness agitation pleasure but for some reason sadness oh yes sadness was written all over him I could see feel that and he did have love a real deep love for that thin scraggly dog and I thought some may think he is a drunk but they are wrong this is schizophrenia ____________________________ August 4, 2015 Poetry/Free Verse/Something Not Quite Right Copyright Protected, ID 15-697-431-0 All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym. For the contest, Mental Illness, sponsor, Nathan D Fifth Place

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015




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Date: 8/23/2015 4:25:00 PM
such a sensitive pen Broken wings - people can be so quick to make a snap judgement when all they need to do is scratch the surface and they may learn something:-)congrats on your win:-) hugs jan xx
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Date: 8/22/2015 2:50:00 AM
Since I retired I have been working as a deli cook at a store. There is a man much like the one you describe who comes in almost every day because he has nothing else to do...When I can, I talk to him and always at least say hello. Where he is concerned, I remember the saying 'There, but by the grace of God go I'
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Date: 8/22/2015 2:44:00 AM
Heartbreaking and sensitive write my friend...I assume this is a real person? LOVE the line 'for some reason sadness oh yes sadness'...VERY effective repetition. BIG congrats - Tim
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Date: 8/20/2015 2:44:00 PM
A very sensitive portrayal of mental illness. Congrats, Hugs Rick.
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Date: 8/19/2015 11:58:00 PM
Congrats on ur awesome poem n win broken!
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Date: 8/19/2015 9:01:00 PM
Broken. Congrats on your Mental Illness win.... SKAT
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Date: 8/19/2015 8:17:00 PM
Thank you
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Date: 8/5/2015 7:46:00 PM
very very good one. so much better than the oldie I submitted on same topic (mine just mentioned my dad having it, did not go in detail like this one). I really like this. It should be a top scoring one!
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Date: 8/5/2015 1:55:00 PM
Very well written with strong emotions and great flow. Your use of colorful images and language adds to the charm and the depth of this work. I liked the poem as a good read, it has a very relatable quality to it that's easily recognizable. Emile. #7
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Date: 8/4/2015 11:03:00 PM
This is a very sad write, Constance. What a difficult life to lead...when no one understands...to separate oneself from society seems the only way....However, thank God for medication that helps. I loved the movie...Beautiful Mind. It really touched me. This poem is very well constructed, dear. Good luck in the contest.
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Date: 8/4/2015 10:47:00 PM
There is something about most dogs that make it almost impossible not to love them back. An ounce of kindness from a person results in an abundance of affection from a dog, even a formerly mistreated dog. If only people could be that way...Thank you for sharing. Just Ed :)
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