Solid Stone

You aren't worth killing myself over No matter how much has fallen upon me No matter how much the days ahead will bring me down No matter how much my own body tries to waste itself I'm not gonna let you decide my fate I'm not gonna let the absolute abuse kill me The gaslighting you put me through The insults followed by praise The opportunities I wasted by being at your beck and call You aren't worth my life Whatever's left of it anyway As cysts reappear after a year of bloody warning As the depression continues to set in harder than ever As I refuse to be medicated because of the games you played You're the worst kind of parasite Bleeding everyone you know dry Flashing a smile and getting your way You never intended to grow Just as long as you could keep drinking everyone's life Now before me is solid stone For everything I gave Has turned to rock beneath my grasp Stone chairs, stone pencils, stone beds And for now, I'm too weak to raise a chisel And even now I crave your touch Take me in your arms and let this be a dream Pull the strings and make me dance again Flash that smile, laugh that laugh And throw everyone away when you're done And I'm gonna let you drag me down Like I always know I do Clutching, ripping at my heart Screaming for another start Begging for release from all my pain You wouldn't care either way You said it yourself that day And in becoming just a bag of meat All I accomplish is destroying all I love For the sake of the parasite who tried to do the same It doesn't matter either way To be polite, I wished the best And you walked off either way Now who's the bigger man As my tears type these words So I'll bleed just fine alone Sure, there's no one else around But I'd rather be alone than deal with your abuse From solid stone we were born And from solid stone we've been dashed apart